Forgetting Read online

  I wanted to cry, but remembered what Julian told me. I needed to channel my feelings. “What else can I do? I don’t want to be a burden here.”

  The sheriff called Julian into the kitchen. I could see his nerves were shot, and felt the tension when he came over to me immediately and opened his arms for a hug. After releasing me, his hands scoured my face for a phantom injury.

  “I’m okay, Julian. Are you, is the question.”

  He closed his eyes and brought his lips to my forehead, pressing softly. I felt warmth radiate through my veins. This feeling, I would not try to control.

  “Yeah, I will be alright.”

  Sheriff Newman stood by quietly, and waited for us to turn to him before speaking. “Julian, we need to call a town meeting. Someone notified that buzzard to Stella’s whereabouts. It doesn’t appear she gave him any indication about her amnesia, but if it does come out, we need to set up a plan of protection. I have a feeling that was only the tip of the iceberg, and our little town is about to start swarming with those assholes.”

  Julian groaned loudly. “Let’s do it tonight.”

  ~ Fight or Flight ~

  The ride to my parents’ house was quiet, as Julian drove quickly. They greeted us at the door and ushered us in. Sheriff Newman called them, and started to discuss the topics for the town meeting that would take place that evening. I listened to it all in a haze, disbelieving something like this was happening. Just when I started to venture out into the world, I was being shuttered back behind closed doors. Was this the life I really had before? Never getting to live like other people, no freedom to walk without someone hiding in the bushes taking pictures. Or even getting to talk to a stranger out of kindness, without worry of ulterior motives? How sad my existence must have been. I looked down at a tattoo on my inner arm that I always questioned. It was a birdcage with a padlock. It now made sense.

  Julian sat protectively next to me, either with his arm around my back, or his hand resting on my thigh. I would exchange glances with my mother at the possessive behavior. We both hid our smiles behind the seriousness of the situation. Between Julian, my father, and the town sheriff, they would do everything in their power to keep me safe.

  “Stella, you can’t walk to the bakery alone anymore, or anywhere else for that matter.”

  My father’s words sunk deep, despite already knowing them to be true. “I know, daddy.”

  For the first time since I came back, his instinct to protect me overrode any apprehension he held. At the end of the day, I was still his child. The love and concern being poured over me made me realize how much they all truly cared, despite the past. Without thinking about it, I leaned my head onto Julian’s shoulder, then he turned and gently kissed the top of my head affectionately.

  “You’ll be okay, I promise,” he said.

  I smiled at the comforting words, then gathered my things to head off and see the sheriff before the meeting. The mayor and small police force were all present to discuss the plan of action. Rather than sitting at the large wooden table, I sat off to the side with my mother, as Julian, with his military training, stepped forward and told them how things would take place. His experience in war and strategy was not questioned, and everyone agreed to the protocols he wanted in place.

  “We don’t have the funds for private security, Julian. We are not going to spend taxpayer’s hard-earned money to protect her. I know she’s famous, but we have to think about our town,” one man shouted.

  Unmoved, Julian tilted his head and calmly explained. “Miss Brady’s financial advisor has already contacted Stella’s former guardians, and they will be arriving very shortly. No special protection will be necessary from the town’s end. Please understand these are highly trained men who have been with Miss Brady for a very long time, and they know exactly how to work in situations like this. We are simply letting you know what is going to take place so we are all on the same page. Is that understood?”

  This part of the plan I found particularly interesting. I had yet to encounter anyone from my old life. Knowing that they had been with me closely would give me the opportunity to find out more about what kind of person I was, and perhaps solve the mystery of why I disappeared. Within the hour, eight men dressed in immaculately tailored suits arrived in the conference room. One of the men was particularly large. I imagine he was over six-foot-seven, and nearly three hundred pounds of muscle. He looked like a linebacker, but his eyes conveyed something much softer. As the meeting started, I stood up and walked over to the intimidating man. The room grew silent as he stood, towering over me by a solid foot.

  “What is your name sir?” I asked.

  “Christopher Matthew, ma’am,” he replied sharply.

  I took another step closer and watched his chest rise as he held in his breath. “How long have you worked with me?”

  He looked down, and I could see the restraint in his face. “Six years, ma’am.”

  I smiled and looked around the room, before leaning in and whispering, “You want to give me a hug, don’t you?”

  I smiled mischievously at Christopher, and watched him let out the breath. I imagined such a request from his end would be breaking a serious protocol, something inside told me he needed it.

  “Yes, ma’am,” he choked out.

  I reached out my arms and took one last step forward. My arms barely reached around his back, while his were all encompassing and swallowed me whole. I did not know this man, but my heart instantly gravitated toward him. I looked at the others, and they all held the same look of longing. I felt my body wracking with sobs at each embrace. Finally sitting down again, I wiped my eyes as the entire room zeroed in on me.

  “I don’t remember you guys, and I am so sorry for that. But for some, reason I know you care about me. I feel like you’re my family, and I am home. I know that sounds crazy, but it’s true.”

  I hid my head in my hands and cried.

  Julian came over and pulled me into his arms. “You aren’t crazy, Stella. It’s why I asked these men to come. They know you like the back of their hands. They didn’t hesitate to come here, because they care about you the same way we do.”

  I looked at the men gratefully, and apologized for interrupting the meeting. Something in that moment broke, and they actually started to smile, including the mayor and other police officers. Perhaps it was seeing I wasn’t the spoiled brat they probably imagined. I was a real person who needed their help.

  Several hours went by, and the entire town hall filled with residents concerned about how my arrival would impact things. No one had bothered me up until this point. They’d all been respectful of my mother and the abundance of race car drivers who liked their privacy. Knowing so little about the person I was now became a disadvantage. I had to face up to who I became if there was any hope of me surviving. After the meeting was adjourned and the plans voted upon, they immediately went into effect. The security team assigned shifts and would start the securing of my parents property tonight. Before leaving for the evening, I asked to meet privately with the guards. Julian nodded to my parents that it would be okay. If they were protecting me, I needed to trust them, even though I already did with every fiber of my being. Once more, the men took seats around the table in the conference room. Rather than taking a seat myself, I crawled up on the table and sat cross legged in the center.

  It took a moment to think about what exactly I wanted to say. Formulating words with eloquence was not something that came easily to me. The past few days had thrown me into a whirlwind, and I needed to know I was anchored to something unmovable. Julian had far too much on his plate to stay so concerned, which was another reason I imagine he called in the team.

  Anxiously, I began picking at my nails before looking at the group of men. “I don’t really know what to say, except I am sure you know by now that I have amnesia. There isn’t anything I can recall before the age of seventeen, but I have these moments where I think I remember something, like tonight. I get
really frustrated because I struggle so much, but I am getting better every day. I don’t really know much about who I was when you were with me, and neither do they, outside of magazines and the internet. I refuse to look because I don’t know what is true.”

  Warm tears streaked my face, but the group did not look bothered. “I don’t think I was very happy. I mean, I know I wasn’t happy. I have a feeling I did some really awful things, and if that includes things I may have done to you, I am sorry. If I can make it up, please let me try and fix it, because I need your help to know the truth.”

  Deep, ragged breaths forced from my lungs while I fought to gain my composure. Another gentleman handed me a tissue and, one by one, they introduced themselves and told me a bit about who they were. First there was Michael, who was a former Marine, and had taken me on as a client and was my lead guardian for seven years. From there it was Christopher, Todd, Robert, Jason, Bryan, Truman, and Noah. All varying times of service, but none less than four years. I was moved by their devotion to my wellbeing and the willingness to come at such short notice.

  Truman chuckled under his breath. “It kind of sucks working for other people. With you, we knew what we were going to get, and you took great care of us. Honestly, you weren’t much trouble, compared to some other clients. I think we all knew it was a front. Being here, we get to understand more about you, too. You have always been a good person, Stella. Sometimes you could be a real bitch to others, but never to us. Besides Vida, I think we were the only people you trusted.”

  I let out a sigh of relief and then asked, “Who is Vida?”

  Michael looked at Truman and shook his head, before answering me himself, “She was your manager, Stella, but I highly suggest leaving her be. After your accident, she became a loose cannon. We never really trusted her, but it wasn’t our place to speak out.”

  Crossing my arms, and then looking down while nodding my head, I replied.

  “Well, I trust you, and so does Julian. If you say to leave it be, consider it done. However, I need to know what she looks like. If she shows up here, I want to be able to alert someone. I have a feeling I will be pretty hidden from now on, but this morning shows me that I can’t be too careful.”

  I shifted my body to scoot off the table, and Christopher stood to help me down. “Well, aren’t you chivalrous? I think I will keep you around.”

  I grinned brightly, and walked to the exit with the men following behind me. I saw Julian’s eyes pass over me, and scan the men with discernment. Instantly, we saw something about one another that had yet to surface—who we both were before returning to Mooresville, after we had parted. The people we had become was bound to collide with the ones that were currently in states of limbo. We walked outside, and a large black SUV was waiting. Christopher held the door for me. Confused, I looked to Julian for direction.

  “This is how it has to be, Stella. They are your guardians now. Don’t worry, I am right behind you.”

  Slowly, I stepped into the truck, and each man took a seat. I stared at the floor the entire short distance to my parents’ house, listening to them catch up. Upon arriving, a security company was already busy installing cameras, sensors, and alarms throughout the house and property. Our dining room had become a command center, with multiple computers and monitors. Feeling panic overcome me, I ran to the bathroom and slammed the door, then sunk to the ground.

  A soft knock came to the door and I could hear his voice. “Stella, will you please let me in? Let me talk to you,” Julian said calmly.

  I cracked the door, but remained sitting against the cool porcelain tub. Moving next to me but not touching me, Julian used his most soothing voice to explain what was happening. “It’s only for tonight, Stella. I know it’s overwhelming. They needed a place to start monitoring, but they will relocate in the morning. I don’t think you quite understand who you are. Unfortunately, this is necessary to protect you.”

  Numbly, I asked Julian for respite. “Take me to the cove, please. I don’t want to be here tonight.”

  He paused in consideration, and then leaned in to brush the hair away from my eyes. “I think that’s a good idea, too. Pack some clothes. I will go get the boat and be right back. Give me an hour.”

  I nodded in agreement and quickly thought of Raina. “Julian, your house needs monitoring, too. Send someone over to keep watch. Everything they are doing here, they need to do there. I insist.”

  He closed his eyes, taking in the ramifications of being a part of my world. With all of this concern on my behalf, we could not discount the vulnerability of his properties. If I had to seclude myself away to a life of isolation, I preferred to know I could still visit her in safety.

  “Okay, Stella. I’ll send them over as soon as they finish here. I will be right back, I promise.”

  I smiled and took his hand to stand, then reached around his waist and pulled him close.

  “Thank you, Julian. I would be lost without you.”

  He laughed and hugged back. “I think that goes both ways.”

  Julian quickly left the house after instructing the security installment company to cover his property when they finished. Being able to give his mother fair warning of what was to come was important, and I hoped Raina was okay with the protection. As promised, Julian arrived within the hour at my parents dock, and Christopher and Michael escorted us down. Julian gave the coordinates to where we would be, in the event they did not hear back from us in the morning. My parents held no resistance to us leaving amidst the turmoil, and thanked Julian for taking care of me.

  “Sandy, don’t thank me. I’m glad I am here for this. I can’t imagine you dealing with this alone. It will be fine. This is just an adjustment, and there’s a lot of excitement. Like the sheriff said, it’s about to get a lot worse. The best we can do is to make it as normal as possible for us all,” Julian said comfortingly.

  My father shook his hand and waved us off into the night. Once into the main channel, Julian hit the waves much harder, since the waters were choppier than before. I gripped the side of the seat to keep from bouncing each time the bow slammed down. We reached the cove shortly thereafter. Julian went into the cabin and brought back a small cooler. “We need to sleep down below tonight since it’s supposed to rain, but we can stay out here as long as you want.”

  He handed me a bottle of water and asked if I was hungry. Feeling famished, I removed a few plastic containers of fresh fruit, chicken salad, and potato chips. We didn’t bother with plates, and used plastic forks to share the food.

  “Thanks for bringing me out here, and for everything today. It’s just all so crazy. I can’t imagine most people with amnesia deal with this. I mean, they have to go through the process of knowing who they were and whatnot, but having the place they live go into lockdown? It’s so surreal.”

  Julian took a sip of his water and set the container of fruit down next to him. “Your situation is definitely unique. Even as a doctor, I constantly have to gauge the best way to react. But I have to be your friend first. And as a soldier, that adds a whole new level of emotion to this.”

  I laughed and grabbed the fruit. “But you’re kind of the perfect person to be dealing with this right now. I can’t think of anyone else that would have stayed so calm.”

  Julian huffed. “I am not really calm right now. I know you need me to keep it together.”

  “Well, after tomorrow you can leave me in the hands of the team. You won’t have to worry about me so much. I won’t be going back to the bakery.” I was saddened by the thought of not helping in the morning, but I knew it would cause too much trouble.

  “You can still come; you just can’t bus tables and take orders anymore. I don’t know how much fun you will have cooking all day, but I refuse to make you stop having a life because others want to hound you. Nothing should ever stop you from going anywhere; you just have to be a little more conscious how things happen,” he said.

  Feeling my sadness, he patted my thigh before s
tanding. “I have a surprise for you tomorrow. I know you will love it, but first I think we need to get to sleep. It’s really late, or should I say early, and we don’t want to lose a day. Go down and change, and I will be there in a bit.”

  I liked surprises and smiled. “You’ve already seen me naked, why so shy?”

  Julian shot me a look not to test him, but grinned right back. “You are trouble, Miss Brady.”

  I laughed and walked down into the cabin with my bag. I ducked my head at the bottom of the stairs, and was a bit shocked how spacious it was below. Touching the soft cotton blanket on the bed with my fingers, I felt my body flood with warmth. Julian and I were completely alone. His alpha behavior earlier in the day only stoked the fires burning deep. Without hesitation, he stepped forward to direct my protection. Lost in thought, I did not hear him walk down the steps. Only the deep inhalation of breath announced his arrival.

  Wearing just a bra and panties, nearly every inch of my skin and ink was vulnerable to his gaze. I held my waist at first to hide my body, then met him eye to eye before allowing my arms to slack.

  “It’s okay to look,” I said, the words rolling lazily off my tongue.

  Reaching behind my back, my fingers loosened the snaps on my bra and let it drop to the floor. The pace of Julian’s breath increased as I slowly approached him. For the first time in months, I was feeling . . . dare I say, adventurous.

  “Stella . . .”

  I smiled and placed my hand behind his head, dragging my nails lightly down his neck and over his chest. “Close your eyes, Julian.”

  I watched as his lids flickered, with long lashes brushing against his strong cheekbones. Without asking, I leaned up and brushed my lips across his. His body stood frozen, unmoved by my brazen attempts.